Your sex guide to December holidays!

We live in a sex-obsessed society. Everywhere u enter its sex, sex and more sex. But what’s wrong with this?

If u don’t want and tired, go to some other society, somewhere where dogs just stare at each other.

Sex is a function of biology and evolution, so it’s fair we meet and fulfill all the urges whether with your girlfriend or not. (Me, I have one so no time to be funny, hee! hee!)

Now, in small towns of Hatfield, Sunnyside and other supplying points; at this time of the year life starts slowing down like boiling milk removed from the fire.

It’s that time of the year when the rolling of eyes is done for now until new products are brought on the shelf, next year.

January is a time for the fresh doughnuts from the villages all over Uganda and statements like “nga uve changed!” A polite way of saying uv grown fat and ugly with slight wrinkles.

Students, many who have spent the whole year acting porn, while others been rejected by boys for entirely clear reasons…are done with exams and busy packing for far-away lands where there's no even access to facebook.

But it’s also time to brush up the American accents ready for Effendy’s and Zanzi the pig joint. Yes, order for pork chops in an Afrikanner-American tongue.

For many black children, from the rest of Africa, it’s the last time to bite bread mixed with meat and nivea like stuff called mayonnaise.

But how abt those who can’t and don’t want to go home?

Here is your guide to a blissful December holiday:

Uc, South Africa can tend to be a lonely plot, during x-mass. For boys, it’s even worse coz all the naked girls are gone.

But over time, I have learnt, meaning to life is as far as one wants to find it.

You don’t have to hit the pedals because he or she is out of sight…. If anything, time to explore new routes, time to check out new sights and sounds, and a time to rediscover yourself.

I have also learnt that just as there are girls who quit the suburban male race, hundreds are ready to come to the big cities for some excitement.

All they want is accommodation and be ready to tour around. The topics of conversation with such girls’ shd be abt shopping malls, bumping into soapie stars, and a good time.

If you have been longing to take a road trip to the land of pretty women, (Eastern Cape), this is the time. Forget Cape Town, Durban, blah, blah… EC is the place.

With 2 dozens of wellington boots, you will have a truly amazing experience. Life is cheap (and indeed can be cheap if ur not careful) while there.

Xhosa women can be a festival of a sort. Burning and sensational in all ways. They know how to care of a needy man.

Don’t miss. If u need connections, I have quite a number of contacts there (remember I once worked in the then University of Transkei).

Just come to the braai this Saturday, then will scroll in my wallet. Hee!